Throw Your Code of Conduct in the Trash
Have you looked at your organization's code of conduct lately? It's probably garbage. I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice, but it is, quite likely, absolute trash.
Let’s talk about why your code of conduct is trash and what to create instead to build stronger organizations where everyone can thrive.
We work with our closest teammates to create a respectful and psychologically safe culture, yet often, our organizational policies and procedures don't live up to this same standard.
What if you systemically altered how your organization treats staff and functions when conflict arises to support a culture based on trust, respect, and justice?
It is possible.
If you are challenged by managing interpersonal conflict in your organization or retaining excellent staff, take a good look at your code of conduct.
There are some toxic assumptions embedded in your code of conduct.
I haven’t read your code of conduct (yet), but I’ve seen plenty of them, and here’s what I think I’d find in yours:
It talks down to your teammates. (There’s a rule that sleeping on the job is not allowed? And insubordination is a nearly criminal offense? And is there a dress code that features specific attire and hair requirements for men and women? Yikes!)
It doesn’t address interpersonal conflict. At all. In any way. (Because… that never happens at your organization?)
It’s based on surveillance and punishment. (Hit your metrics, which may or may not be apparent, and get your carrot. Rock the boat, question the process, or step out of line in some unspoken way and get a performance improvement plan that is, in reality, a slow and tedious firing process designed to make it so uncomfortable that the person in question will quit before you have to take action definitively.)
These types of code of conduct tenets are setting the stage for toxicity to flourish in your organization because:
No one wants to enforce it. Most people don’t actually like talking down to their teammates, so they don’t enforce the silly rules. But that looks like favoritism (aka it is favoritism because I bet you find select ways and places and times to implement it when you really don’t want someone around), and that is not path to effective leadership or a psychologically safe organizational culture.
Stressful interpersonal work relationships are ignored and allowed to fester slowly, destroying your teammates' morale and confidence (and perhaps their souls) because “well, it’s not a disciplinary issue, so what am I supposed to do about it?”
When leaders (AKA you) do “hold people accountable,” it does not go well because the procedures for this are nonexistent or embarrassingly juvenile (how many lives have you changed with the verbal warning, written warning, and threat of firing or your disciplinary action matrix based on grade school level shaming from 1985?)
Have you already paused to look up/find/unearth your business code of conduct?
Are you having a hard time finding it because:
You and your teammates have already internalized it, so you know it word-for-word, or
You haven’t seen or heard of it since you signed that thing saying you read it during your business formation or
You don’t have one at all.
While you’re racking your brains for your code of conduct, take a moment and jot down your organizational core values. Did you have to look those up/dust those off too? (Side note: Are they honesty, integrity, transparency, and/or something clever from your business founding story? Another time, we can get into how your values may be a pack of lies not awesome, but for now, we will stay focused, people.)
Maybe it wasn’t such a struggle to find your code of conduct and organization's core values - those might be readily at hand or on your website somewhere. They may not be dusty “legacy” documents written on vellum from the dark ages or hidden because they’re framed up next to the motivational posters with the mountain and the one with the people rowing the boat and other gorgeous outdoor scenes you haven’t witnessed from any window in your entire working life. (You got those posters to be ironic, right?)
Take a breath because you don’t have to fire anyone right now, and look closer. Read those values again.
Are your values enacted through your code of conduct? Or does your code of conduct assume you teammates are lawless, heathen two-year-olds?
Are they present and evident (or at all mentioned) in your code of conduct? Or does your code of conduct sound like it was written by someone who was very, very angry (or by lawyer-bot 5000)?
Can you see the influence of those values in your code of conduct document? Or are they two separate unrelated things that never intermingle except to cause whiplash in the minds and hearts of everyone you work with?
The foundational flaw with your system is (still) this: punishments don’t fix problems.
You’ve (inadvertently, if we’re being charitable) created an edifice of toxic no-way–to-win leadership balanced on a foundation of garbage. Your code of conduct is part of the problem. Throw it all in the trash.
(Also, fatal flaw #2: carrots and sticks are not motivators - but that’s a story for another day.)
We can do better. And that’s the point.
There is a lot of tradition, expectation, and inertia around what goes into a code of conduct, but you can actually have it say anything you want. Truly anything, there are no requirements for what MUST be in your code of conduct.
[Remember, I’m still not a lawyer; this still isn’t legal advice, and I’m NOT talking about your mandated anti-harassment policy, mandatory reporter policy, work-hour requirements, or similar legal things. Talk to a real lawyer before you mess with that stuff. I’m also not suggesting that you add in things that are fraud or theft or, you know, a crime. I AM saying you have much more freedom than you might expect for everything else in your code of conduct.]
Your words set the tone of your organizational culture.
What if, instead of a “code of conduct,” you had “behavior expectations” that supported people to engage in interpersonal problem-solving? Or a “code of community” intentionally designed to redirect people toward procedures for repairing or building stronger connections? Or, as one organization I worked with decided to call it, a “community commitment code” where people find how they are expected to work for the good of the organization in clearly defined ways?
Instead of procedures that cultivate toxicity, you can have deep alignment between values and policy that supports an organization where people can thrive. The process of making this happen is the process of creating alignment among your people.
Instead of policies designed to surveil and punish, you can have policies designed for intrinsic motivation and repair. You and your people can create and sustain a culture of trust and respect where the people and the business thrive.
It is possible.
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This post was originally published as a guest blog for The Boutique COO - check it out along with the great work they do here:
(Yes, they changed the title. Yes, I approved that change. No, I wouldn’t generally use the word “leverage,” but they weren’t wrong with the edit, and here we are.)